A time for being in motion and a time for being at rest...

Paloma says she has dreams about Ireland. I dream of Ireland, too. All four of us do, in our own ways. In a family that is bicultural, bilingual and everyone is encouraged to be authentic and honest about who we are, discovering a place we all resonate with equally feels like a unique treasure.

When Paloma was a baby, after a torturous afternoon spent at an event that only one or two of us wanted to attend, Javier and I decided that doing everything together doesn't necessarily make for a unified and happy family. There are events and dates we must all attend, but there are also many that we don't. We created the "Zero Torture" policy in our family. Giving us opportunities to explore our own interests. Opportunities to notice where we line up and where we don't. What we have in common and what we don't. Recognizing the importance of showing up for each other at key moments, even if it is uncomfortable. Balance between exploring, supporting one another and giving each other plenty of space to simply be. This is not always easy, nor always effortful. It is a practice we agree to and it is the best one for our particular and close knit family.

At Pheonix Park in Dublin, Ireland. Summer 2017.

While our interests may differ, we are a family of artists, each one with a unique expression of the soul. We are united in our values, in our hearts and the core of what family means to each one of us. So, when we all fell in love with Ireland and looked at each other at the end of our first trip and someone said, I wish we could stay and everyone agreed, we realized we have found something very special. We vowed to return and honor future thresholds in our lives. 

Paloma, reading the map, looking around and guiding the day. Dublin, Ireland. Summer 2017.

As we venture into the warm month of July, the middle of summer and Paloma's teen years in their beginning of full swing, I remember sharing with Mary in Kildare: She is her own person, but her drive, her energy, her spark - I recognize these qualities in her because I feel them in myself. There is nothing quite like meeting someone who reminds you of yourself, although their own person, to shed light on who and how you are. Shedding light on some of the qualities, as well as, challenges you encounter yourself.

In reviewing older blog posts, journal entries and letters to dear friends, I find a common theme and area of focus: Slowing down. Learning to rest deeply. With my own history of going until I drop, I am aware of the importance of pacing myself to take deep care. This is imperative for my own health: heart, body, mind and soul. I'm not saying I'm good at it. Or bad at it. I am committed to checking in and to practice. I am committed to pausing and creating space in between all the activity and doing in my life. Space between each breath. Space between my thoughts. I invest time and energy in creating  space which results in feeling balanced. At the same time: balance is not static, life is an adventure and sometimes balance feels overrated. While balance is important over the long haul and I know from experience that if it is not created intentionally, life will create it for you, I also recognize that life unfolds in ways I may never have experienced if I were more focused on creating the perfect  daily balance. In other words, sometimes life sends us curve balls or creative opportunities and waves to ride that require a huge output of energy. When these curve balls come my way, I do my best to work with them and trust: rest will come later. When creative opportunities present themselves, I ride the wave. And rest later. Sometimes an hour feels balanced, or a day or week or more. Sometimes not so much. When I reflect on larger chunks of time, I notice patterns and see the overall balance between motion and rest.

Resting and reflecting at a sacred site in Kildare, Ireland. 

Standing next to a beautiful sculpture of Brigid in Kildare, Ireland. Summer 2017.
Brigid is the Celtic Goddess of fire, inspiration, poetry and healing.

A busy first year of Junior High extra curricular activities included Drill Team, Volleyball and Piano. The other day, she said to me: I want to be a musician. My reply, with a heart full ready to burst: You are a musician. And, now that you know that music is your priority, we can look forward and make choices about how to organize your time to support your path as the musician that you are. Remember when you were yawning your way to your last piano lessons this spring because you were tired from long and late nights of volleyball? Let's take some time to rest, keep practicing your music and we will know how to proceed.

I share the interests and areas of external expression and part of my experience as Paloma's mom. I leave the personal, internal expressions for Paloma to share one day as part of her own stories. Raising a teenage daughter who is full of energy, intense and deep thoughts and emotions is a big job and one that I am honored to be here doing. Practicing the art of moving through our intense moments, as well as, learning how and when to be still is a life long practice for any one. Listening, providing guidance, setting boundaries and offering freedom where it is age appropriate are part of an ongoing experience that I realize comes with a threshold to cross when she is older. My hope and intention is that the groundwork created in her early years and now will support her present and  future as she continues to follow her own path in life.

Train ride from Kildare to Dublin. Treasured moments with this young lady. Summer 2017.
Traveling together before her teen years. Honoring the threshold between her childhood and adolescence. 

There is a quote by Lao Tzu that I am reminded of often as I notice the ups and downs, as well as, in betweens of my own creative energy and now my daughter's: Just as you breathe in and breathe out, there is a time for being ahead and time for being behind; a time for being in motion and a time for being at rest; a time for being vigorous and a time for being exhausted...

This park. Our favorite place to rest, take our lunch, a coffee, a walk. A place to chill. Dublin, Ireland. Summer 2017.

Here we are. It is summer of 2018. We are in Baja. No big travel plans this year. Simply plans to enjoy the slow season of summer. Rest, restore and renew. Reflect and reset. Be where we are. Enjoy who we are and each other. Over dinner, we talk about our days, our dreams. We talk about Ireland sometimes and our next trip across the pond. 

Tehroma 

(AKA: Paloma's mom)

"Everything under heaven is a sacred vessel and cannot be contolled. Trying to control leads to ruin. Trying to grasp, we lose. Allow your life to unfold naturally. Know that it too is a vessel of perfection. Just as you breathe in and breathe out, there is a time for being ahead and a time for being behind; a time for being in motion and a time for being at rest; a time for being vigorous and a time for being exhausted; a time for being safe and a time for being in danger." Lao Tzu