A Return To Privacy

During the current Coronavirus Pandememic, while the world is in various degrees of quarentine, I wonder how public our lives need to be. I am learning and living into an answer that feels true to me personally: less than I believed before.

Under normal circumstances, how much do I need to publish on social media, websites, emails, etc. in order to live a creative, productive, happy, healthy and connected life that is beneficial to the health and wellbeing of myself and others, the services publicly offered and a life that is planetarily and economically sustainable.

How many times do I need to advertise what I do for a living and how many ways do I need to say the same thing? 

Had I reached a time in my life when saying the same thing over and over again became normal? 

What would it look like to quarentine my energy, sensitivity and sanity. This sounds restorative. 

As I become quieter, I feel a sense of freedom in not having to continuously advertise what I am and am not doing.  Who cares what I am doing, offering, creating, producing and if I am happy? Who cares how I use and regenerate this lifeforce energy, how I care for interior sensitivity and maintain mental and emotional sanity?

I care. I am the one person who I spend twenty four hours of every day in company with. I have been here breathing my life and in this body from day one and will until the final day of my life in this form on earth. When I connect with the entirety of my being and feel that deep sense of care, I feel connected to all living beings on the planet. 

Family and friends care. As I care for them, their creativity, productivity, happiness and overall well-being. The caring is mutual. The energy goes both ways.

Students and clients care. As I care for them, their health and overall well-being. Again, the energy goes both ways.

There is also the wisdom of knowing that people I may not know personally also care just as I care for others who I may not know personally. 

The planet cares. I walk on this earth every day. I care about my foot print, how much space I take up, sustainability, presence and making the most of every day of life and opportunity to create, be productive, of service, happy and simply be a person whos existence contributes to a sense of calm and peace on earth. Especially in the midst of a pandemic.

This morning I enjoyed a hot cup of coffee on a cool back porch covered with a soft gray blanket while listening to birds and appreciating the beauty of all the succulents in bloom. Plus a vine with periwinkle flowers that I have been waiting sometimes impatiently to bloom.

Later, I walked to meeting a place as friends arrived and we hiked in the nearby mountains. I am grateful for these legs to carry me, a healthy heart that beats and lungs that breathe. Eyes to see and appreciate the sea, desert plants and notice how mountains that look tall from below become shorter and underfoot as we reach different hill tops.

I often wonder how much I need to share publicly in order to sustain a living offering the various services I carry in my handy dandy and invisible tool box. In this time of quarentine, I am grateful for a new degree of quiet and a certain return to privacy. Transitions are not always as graceful as I would like for them to be, whether I have handled them privately or publicly. Clumsiness and grace may be two sides of the same coin. 

While I share these thoughts on an invitation and return to privacy, I want to share how much I enjoy sharing pictures of our pets, family, home, yoga, surroundings, art, writing, things that inspire and uplift my spirit. By that same token, and in equal measure, I appreciate the sharings of others that inspire and motivate, communicate and remind me of our inherent connection, no matter where we are on the globe.

These wonderings are personal,  having only to do with the work that I specifically do. I have been in business my entire adult life and worn many hats. Advertisement and smart marketing is part of business promotion. Of the latter I am clear. I am looking at my own approach in the interest of experiencing an alignment of creativity and offerings of service without feeling overly put out there by my own actions to inform or remind people of what I can do.

There are many ways to contribute to a sense of calm during these challenging times. I do not underestimate this event. I feel we are shifting into a new normal. At the very least, the opportunity is here. Shifting and changing can be uncomfortable and scary. Yet, the more I can be right where I am, feel my feet on the ground and sound of my breath, the more at ease I feel. In recent days, I have felt the sadness and fear in the world. That sadness and fear isn't new. At this time, it seems front page. 

Also on the front page of our time on this earth, I see and experience many blessings and ways to return to a feeling of newfound safety, calm, peace and ease. A call home and sense of feeling at home in my own being. An opportunity to do less. Be more still. A sense of deep connection. And the literal act of feeling at home in this dwelling that surrounds me, puts a roof over my head and floor under my feet.

In this time of reflection, there are many inner questions. One of the questions I hear is, how well and how much can I be with myself and the entirety of my ever changing experience? How can I live day to day with creativity, flexibility, compassion and a well rounded existence under unusual circumstances? The answer changes day by day, hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. The range of emotions is vast and deep.

There is the reminder that as I am able to feel sadness, I am also capable of deep joy. And vice versa. Sadness and joy are two sides of the same coin. As I deepen my capacity to feel sadness, I expand my ability to feel joy. As I practice breathing the moments of anxiety instead of numbing or distracting, I practice the art of transmuting that energy and use it as fuel for creativity. This energy goes into cooking, cleaning, creating art, gardening, yoga, coaxing my husband to join me for yoga, walking with him, sharing openended time with our kids. When I can breathe with the rawness of a human emotion, I am deepening my capacity to feel human and connect with that humanness in those around me. Whenever I feel a sense of release and relief, I am creating space for creativity, productivity, happiness, sanity and connection with myself as well as others.

I can only speak for and from my own experience. Life is full of ironies, such as sharing publicly my thoughts on a return to privacy. A newfound sense of privacy. One thing,  I do know for sure. Ollie and the rest of our pets are thrilled to have us home. I love this time with them, too.

A Holistic Approach to Reducing the Effects of Stress in Times of Uncertainty

A Holistic Approach to Reducing the Effects of Stress in Times of Uncertainty

When we are under constant stress, we feel dis-ease. When we are relaxed, we feel a sense of ease. When we feel at ease, we relax and our heart, body, mind and soul have an opportunity to restore and regenerate health on all levels.

The reality is:

All we have is today.

And, all you really have to do is today.

One breath and one minute at a time.

Somewhere it is written, if you take care of the present, the future will take care of itself.

In this moment, wherever you are, take notice of your breathing. The rhythm of your inhale and exhale, their duration and where sensation in your body is most prominent. These are all a reflection of the state of your mind in this very moment in time. Is there any space between your inhale and the release of breathing out? How about after you exhale, is there any amount of space, however brief, before your body naturally draws in the following breath?

Current events are inviting us to slow down, return to privacy, connect with the earth, prioritize and  remember:

What makes you feel alive?

What will you do to make the most of this precious gift called life? Today?

In order to understand the meaning of a holistic approach to reducing the effects of stress in times of uncertainty, it helps to break it down:

What is the meaning of holistic? Imagine the whole picture. Imagine that every part of you is connected: your heart, body, mind and soul are in constant interplay, one aspect of your life creatively informing another. You are a whole being and when one part is “off”, another part also falls out of place. By that same token, when one part of you feels “on”, other parts of you fall into place.  Imagine a domino effect that can go either way, towards your sense of ease or dis-ease.

Think about your heart. Happiness is good for your heart and strengthens your immune system. What makes you happy? What inspires joy? Bliss? What reminds you of the inherent connection shared between your existence and all living beings? Happiness also improves your sleep, reduces stress levels and pain, improves productivity, inspires creativity, improves mental health, can lengthen your life expectancy, promotes a healthy life style and improves your overall cardiovascular health. Your heart is surrounded by your lungs. When you breathe, you communicate with and massage your heart from the inside. How is your breathing now?

Think about your body. Imagine a building. How would you love to live in a space you are imagining? Your home, a second skin, an outer dwelling, a tangible building? Now, how do you want to live in the space you already inhabit? Your first home on this earth, your body, your first skin, your mobile dwelling?

Now think about your mind and the current relationship you share with your inner world. Imagine the connection between your breathing and your mind. If your breathing is short and shallow, there is a good chance your mind is busy. By that same token, if your mind is racing, there is a good chance that your breathing will mirror that pace. There is a direct relationship between your mind and your breathing. How do we slow down our racing minds? Slow down your breathing. In particular, slowing down your exhale. For the next minute, simply take notice of how you let go. Notice the subtleties in your exhalation. Bring your attention to the beginning, middle and end of your exhale and stay with it until there is nothing left to release. After you reach the end of the exhale, notice the pause. However brief. Notice the space between the breaths. A portal to inner peace and tranquility. Your body will naturally draw in the following breath. Again, stay with your exhale until you reach the end and again, you visit this place of stillness. However brief. Do this for one minute. On average, humans breathe 15 breaths per minute. This changes depending on the circumstances. Another way to practice is to close your eyes and practice ten breaths in this manner, counting the breaths on each finger of both hands. There are many breathing practices available to stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system, your ability to rest and digest, to relax and feel a sense of ease. This is merely one practice. Imagine a sense of ease available to you, anywhere and anytime. All you have to do is check in with your breathing. Slow down the exhale. The rest will take care of itself.

Now think about your soul. Your aura. Your energetic body. Your energy and your breathing. Again,here is the relationship between your breathing and connection to your soul. Imagine a soulful existence that enlivens your being and provides a sense of continual connection. Imagine your connection to nature. If you are in Baja, then there is a part of nature that fuels your soul. What do you love? The water? Mountains? Both? Now, imagine the opposite of nature: electronics, social media, and devices. Everything serves a purpose. Begin to notice how each one of these elements makes you feel. Where do you feel relaxed? More of that! What causes anxiety? Less of that! Which way do you direct the domino effect?

How do you reduce the effects of stress in times of uncertainty? Check in with your heart, body, mind and soul. Continually. Trust the innate wisdom of your being. You are in Baja where beauty abounds. Beauty strengthens the lungs. Be where you can breathe easily and you will feel at ease. Stress will melt away. Even if only momentarily. The practice of living with ease is like strengthening a muscle. Resilience training. When you feel the effects of stress on your heart, body, mind and soul, pause, reset. You can always begin again. Every breath is a new beginning.

May all beings be filled with lovingkindness

May we view uncertaintity with open hearts

May creativity inspire our every day

May our minds and perspective remain clear

May our bodies be a sanctuary of health

May we see obstacles as opportunties

And remember the beauty within us and around us every day.

Blessings, Tehroma

Art

Creativity resides in learning different ways to see, live, experience and be.

A handfull of my watercolors on a board.

The last book I read was written by David Whyte, 

Crossing The Unknown Sea. 

Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity. 

I read it five years ago. 

Different work. Different identity. 

The thing about yoga and healing is simple yet profound. 

They are not the result or the final expression. 

There is no final expression. 

Yoga is art and science. 

Architecture is as well. 

I am struggling to begin creating my own art again.

And I will.

It’s easier to miss something or a feeling experienced 

or to be stuck then it is to step into something new.

Create new art. The world always needs art. Connection. Hope. Humanity. Beauty.

Knowing that all art is an expression and sharing of an inner world. 

A reflection. Like looking in a mirror. 

One often does not know what one will see surface and be expressed. 

The life of an artist is an adventure in imagination, experience, feeling, expressing and sharing. 

Through sharing, there is an opportunity to connect. 

Through connecting, both within and with others, we are reminded of the unity inherent in our existence.

I am in this place of knowing it is my time to create my own art. 

It’s personal. Architecture made me feel like a magician.

I believe we are all artists and capable of our own unique unfolding magic. 

The art, the expression, the magic has different ways of coming to life, of being birthed into the world. 

One way is no more or less, just different. 

Sometimes it’s easier to stick with what we know. 

The unknown is a reality whether chosen or not. 

Yoga and healing are not an end result.

They are the underlying magic to support an outer expression and life enhancing magic of art in many forms. 

Sometimes it is simply a matter of choosing an art form and taking the plunge.

Creating and seeing a personal creation.

Seeing with the heart. 

What are you doing with your creativity?

This question has surfaced several times since I hung up my architect hat three months ago.

I am raising a creative, smart, talented and beautiful teenage daughter. This is one way I am using my creativity. There are others.

Threading words together, writing one piece and sharing bits of my inner world, as well as, the daily living from my perspective on a weekly basis is another.

Remembering and imagining ingredients to cook creative dinners regularly counts. So does combining nutritious, colorful and delicious smoothie concoctions five mornings a week.

Being open to words, insights and creative ideas that surface and then incorporating them into the daily art of living.

Finding my own creative way to serve, work and share within a field that is saturated in our community. How much yoga and wellness does a small town need?

Spreading my wings. I am familiar with working in a saturated market. Design and build had its times. In any field, one must realize the unique value of one's own offering: train, practice, develop, show up, serve and hold nothing back. Create an authentic and unique niche. Do what you love and have absolute faith in its undertaking. This takes time, trust, perseverence, work and above all, creativity.

Creatively thinking and reaching out to friends about the upcoming trip to New Orleans I have bought plane tickets for Paloma and myself. Researching coronovirus. Doing my best to be informed and educated about the reality of a worldwide conversation. If most people are staying home and airports are relatively empty, wouldn't that make it possibly the best time ever to travel?

Frenchmen Street, New Orleans. Picture borrowed from the internet.

Last night, our family was in La Paz at a secundaria watching twelve schools share their creative expression through the art of dance. Four modern dance groups and eight folkloric performances. During one of the modern dances, their music failed. Before our wide and admiring eyes, that group of girls didn't miss a beat! The audience chimed in with rhythmic applauding as they kept dancing. We stayed with them til their last step. I had goose bumps and a lump in my throat the whole time. That is creativity incarnate.

Four hours of standing, walking, sitting on a hard floor, standing on top of a concrete bench to see over the crowd, sitting on that same bench before and after all the dances. Love is participation in community. Sharing uncomfortable moments and range of emotions experienced.

Paloma danced and smiled. I held back the tears as I watched and recorded in absolute awe. The Jalisco traditional dance was animated and full of life. Hard work, hours of preparation, twirling a heavy skirt made of sixteen meters of a fabric to move and dazzle has left her with arms and shoulders of steel.

Our school tied for first place. A dance competition between local municipalities. Winner goes to state. We waited while the judges deliberated. The award ceremony took as long as the twelve schools took to perform. Politics. We were all tired and ready though not looking forward to driving two hours in the dark all the way home to Los Barriles. Finally, we get to to the top three. When second place was announced, we sat still in anticipation. If our school tied for first place and didn't win second, then...another school was awarded first. Our school got none. We sat with wide eyes and I remembered Javier's explanations about politices in these school events. 

We got up and waited for our kids who, like the modern dancers, didn't miss a beat. Two things were certain: they danced like champions and we could now go home.

It was around nine at night and the four of us stopped at a side of the road food stand. Soon, several vehicles pulled up. It was a Los Barriles community party around a food stand in San Pedro, eating hot dogs, super burritos, drinking champurrado - which is like thick hot chocolate - and then saying good night, knowing we would caravan and watch for cows together on the winding road home. 

Creativity is in seeing, experiencing and living.

Creativity this morning was using my nervous energy to clear out and deep clean all the bathroom drawers and cabinets. Nervous about upcoming travel plans. Ollie was at the vet having her teeth cleaned. I reached out to friends who responded regarding current traveling. Warmly and quickly. I did more cleaning, laundry, warmed up split pea soup for lunch. Waiting for the time to pick up our little dog, I stretched out my tired and tense body from the demands of the day and evening before.

Before I picked up Ollie, who now has lovely clean teeth and is taking a nap on an oversized pillow that gets more use from her and Hobbes our cat than any of us, we received news. Two pieces of news that are relative to last night:

Our school will receive second place afterall. Someone didn't remain quiet. How our school tied for first then walked away wondering and today gets second placed. I do not know the details. I shake my head and marvel at the confusing elements of politics and observe my fifteen year old daughter take all this in with a level head on her shoulders. 

This morning, she received a picture of the cake below. A surprise birthday celebration organized by her fellow dancers. With all the excitement and confusion last night, the cake didn't get pulled out as planned.

What happened to the cake? 

Well, we know it got as far as the food stand. We were all standing and eating our dinners. Then, it was forgotten before Paloma ever got to see it in person or taste a bite. As far as we know, the cake was accidentally left there, in San Pedro, just thirty minutes south of La Paz. 

It is possible that one of two things happened to the cake. Maybe, hopefully it was enjoyed by the owner of the food stand and his family. Or, as a fellow parent suggested, perhaps a creative business opportunity surfaced. Maybe the cake was cut into slices and sold to be eated with warm cups of champurrado.

Who knows?! I do know that my grandpa Jimmy would have gotten a kick out of the whole story: dance competitions, politics and a lost birthday cake decorated with a dancing dove!

What am I doing with my creativity? 

Seeing, experiencing and enjoying all the richness, love and humor this life has to offer! 

Lost and Found

I went for a walk, looking for a trail Javier, Dylan, Paloma and I hiked several Augusts ago. It was a weekend morning, probably Sunday. We invited them away from comfort, airconditioning and sleeping in for a walk along this rocky trail in the heat of summer. Promise of breakfast at Café LA lured them out of the house. Ollie came along too.

Flat Top Mountain 2012, visible from certain places on the ranch.

One of my concerns with hiking our five hundred acres of family land has been, what if I get lost? The land is laced with well cut trails, marked and used. Friends of Javier requested regular walking and mountain biking in this part of the desert. They have created or maintained many of the trails we also enjoy exploring. They are marked. Makes it unlikely to get lost.

Part of the ranch property is a mountain hugging our casita and is double privately gated. There are no signs on this side of a beautiful mountain I can see from the casita's picture window facing south. The trail is uncut, unkept and Javier is the only one who knows its location and destination. Years ago, we walked to a clearing he created and considered this place for the creation of a south facing dwelling. I drew rough plans. Practicality and Javier’s emotional connection to the knoll where I sit now, writing on this lap top and plugged into solar power won. The clearing remains a dream for future dreaming and creation.

The other concern felt regarding our sharing the experience of being here more regularly is simple. Javier has spent countless hours on this land, alone. I recognize this place as his sanctuary. I feel blessed to share the peace and tranquility.

My intention last weekend was to explore the area on my own. Allow him his space. Enjoy my space. In a family of introverts there is no explaining to do. We all understand the need for solitude to enjoy our time together.

I walked through the gate, into rocky terrain and saw what appeared to be a hiking trail. A clearing. However subtle its liking. Cow hooves. This must be the way. Overgrown from last summer, fall and this winter’s rain, walking through brush, pulling, holding branches out of the way as I walked the knarly way. I heard cows below. Looked left and saw the sea. This must be the way. I remember the direction. These trees look familiar. Yet they all look the same. Thorns sticking into my pant legs, arms and pulling me back. Using both hands to hold branches aside as I often crouched to get through. I thought of Javier and how often he walks ahead of me through rougher terrains and either holds the branches or uses his machete to cut the way through. A gentleman in every way. A gentle soul with strong shoulders that carry the world. Close to the ground, countless tiny yellow wildflowers. Butterflies to flap their soft and ever accompanying wings. The sound of my footsteps, breathing, silence and a few curse words. In Ireland, they say: when cursing comes from the lips, it eases the heart. I felt myself get more and more lost. Knowing I was going in the right direction: up the mountain and away from the sea. I looked back and saw Flat Top Mountain below the horizon line. How can you get lost when you can see the sea?

Through brief clearings and  rough desert terrain, I thought of mountain bikers and advanced trails. I recognized this as advanced hiking, not a trail. Feeling lost and at home, admiring the beauty surrounding me and motivation to find the special spot I knew was there, I kept hiking up the mountain. My logic was: when I find my destination, I will see the trail and can walk back on chartered ground. Between admiration, frustration, cursing, elation and gratitude for a body that can carry me through unchartered desert home land, I remembered the words of Antonio Machada:

 “Pathmaker, there is no path. You make the path by walking. By walking, you make the path.”

I recalled the unchartered terrain I have traversed. Motherhood and partnerships, relationships, education, trainings, careers, and people walked with through this adventure called life. I remembered times in my life when I have felt like I had no where to turn with drive and restless energy, finding solace in nature, painting, writing. Solace in creativity. Grateful for outlets. Recognition of hitting a wall and moving through as breakthrough to another way of expression and being. Once, that feeling scared me. Now, it is familiar, part of an inner compass I trust with all that I am. 

Yesterday, as I arrived at home, threw a load of laundry in to be washed, watered some plants and felt that welling up of restlnessness that before drove me to regular hiking, to create a series of paintings of beloved places along well walked trails near our home in town, drove me write hundreds of pages before. Pages I went through years after their space was filled. And wittled them down to create a book. Then held on to as a project to come back to, last summer, I decided, it was time to let go. I discarded the original and the second draft. There is a story I wish to share. Yet not from the perspective or experience of purging words to create space within the inner world accompanying my every step. The story is best shared gently, clearly and over time. Which may be happening here with a commitment to write one piece per week. In a year, that is fifty two pieces. More details can always be added later. Polishing, as well. For now, keep writing.

Yesterday, I knew exactly where to go. Here, to the ranch. I invited Paloma. Her response was, can I drive? I asked if she was negotiating. I drove us to the highway and onto the road on federal land leading to our land. I let her take over the wheel up the arroyo and  through gates onto the road behind our house. We arrived, unloaded this trip’s boxes as every trip brings with it belongings and a slow move into this home. She sat down in a cushy green swivel chair, put one hand in each pocket, her feet on the concrete coffee table, looked out the picture window, let her head settle into the back of her chair and she fell asleep. A rare gift for an energetic, talented and gifted young soul.

The energy of raising a teenager is reminiscent of raising a toddler. Different dynamics, but the level of being “on” for me as a mother feels similar. When she rests, I rest. When she doesn’t rest and I can see she is exhausted, I lead her to rest or let her be so I can rest and hope that between the two of us, enough rest is happening so we may restore, recharge and continue along our mutual and shared creative ways.

It has been a week since I got lost on our family ranch. I took one video at the highest spot, along the fence line, where I thought I was close to the clearing and then an easy walk home. After I made my way back, with countless wildflowers, butterflies, birds, stickers, cactus and frustration when I could see the house but still could not find a decent clearing, I remembered again, the inspiring words of Antonio Machado that I later looked up and share more fully here:

“ Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more; wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking. By walking one makes the road, and upon glancing behind one sees the path that never will be trod again. Wanderer, there is no road --- Only wakes upon the sea.”

When I showed Javier the video, he said, you were way up there! That terrain is terrible! I know. Today is Sunday. I am here and ready to walk again. This time, he has offered again to the lead the way. He offered last Sunday. I kindly declined and created a memory I will always hold dear.

As one of my yoga students said this week:

Sometimes it’s good to get lost.

Food for thought. This, I do know: I've been and felt lost numerous times in my life. Physically, at the age of five in San Miguel de Allende, then taken to the radio station to announce a small child found. When I went back at age twenty one, I asked a friend to take  a picture of me at its entrance. Smaller, lost in Ashland, Oregon. As a teenager and adult, at times I have felt emotionally, mentally or soulfully lost. I certainly don't have to go get lost on purpose. Certainly, I will feel lost again. I am a wanderer, explorer, adventurer.  In all the times I’ve gotten lost, I have learned about this heart, body, mind and soul, learnings I do not uncover on confortable ground. Every time, I’ve felt lost, I later cherish the well earned insights, understandings and gems  found within. I have felt lost and safe at the same time. Frustration may settle in, feelings of overwhelm, and still, no matter how challening, I will always find my way home.

Dylan, Paloma, Ollie and Javier on that sweaty, hot, Sunday August morning.