Nonstriving and The Heart of Being

“Nonstriving is one of the core principles of mindfulness. It means being fully present in the moment without the need to change it --- actually being present without any agenda. Even without the agenda to relax or feel better. And surely not with the agenda to reach a special meditative state. Nonstriving is moving from our constant, habitual doing mode into the more open, receptive being mode. Being mode allows this moment to be “good enough” --- again, not perfect, and sometimes even stressful or painful. But we learn that letting go of striving will often open a sense of ease. As we practice nonstriving, over time we learn that the being mode is deeply healing and restorative.” Christiane Wolf, MD, PH D and J. Greg Serpa, PHD

In meditation we are always looking at the relationship, how we are relating to the moment to moment experience. Let us also remember the two wings of mindfulness: nonjudgmental awareness and compassion. The heart qualities. The practice of letting these two wings of mindfulness meditation embrace the moment and our lightly. 

And, now imagine the foundational attitudes that support and strengthen mindfulness like seasonings. We can add them to any experience and enhance or even change the flavor of our experience. Infinitely.

While, we can include the attitude of nonstriving in a variety of scenarios, for this piece, I’m offering three different ways to include the attitude of nonstriving into our experience:

Nonstriving as a way of simplifying the moment and cultivating the art of being. Dropping into the heart of the moment and letting it be just as it is. Anytime. Anywhere. If you have any questions about what this might look like and you have pets, observe them. Cats and dogs are masters at being and letting the moment be enough just as it is. Have you ever seen a pet fight their tiredness? Or happiness? Love? Excitement? Sadness? Anxiousness? Animals let themselves feel and be. Just as they are. Whole, complete and divinely beautiful in their animal being. 

 

Nonstriving as a way of letting go of trying to control the outcome of a situation. In my previous profession, designing and building custom homes and spaces was intense. Constantly striving to stay on top of things, ahead of the questions, always working towards the finish line and completion of a project. Striving has its place. Consciously engaging with an ongoing project with attachment to completion is not a bad thing. It was necessary in that case. And to balance all that “doing” the heart of my practice for years was Restorative Yoga, The Art of Being. A deeply relaxing and healing practice where I could let my body be still and breathe fully supported by props and allow my heart, mind and body to heal from the stress of an equally rewarding and creative field I was blessed to be part of and move on from. Inviting the attitude of nonstriving into our lives does not mean we let go of all effort. Nonstriving is the heart of being and brings balance to all the doing. Now, apply that intensity to the business aspect of  Yoga, Meditation and Wellness and it is overkill. My current profession is spacious and requires trust in creating an experience -- a class or treatment or even this writing -- without attachment to the outcome. An act of trust in the teachings, therapeutic offerings, deep trust in my own skills as a practitioner and infinite trust in my students, clients and readers to experience the offerings in their own ways for their own wellbeing. A beautiful reminder is: everything I offer here, in my classes and treatment room are offered in the spirit of invitation. Take with you the parts that resonate with you and gently leave behind the parts that don't.

 

“Fill your bowl to the brim

and it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife

and it will blunt.

Chase after money and security

and your heart will never unclench.

Care about people’s approval

and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.

The only path to serenity.”

Tao Te Ching, Stephen Michael Translation

 

Nonstriving and letting go of looking outside of ourselves for what can be found within. In this day and age, if social media is part of your life, this might mean letting go of following a post with checking in to see how many thumbs up or hearts have been pressed in response to the share. Or letting go of looking for more answers in the scriptures or teachings. Letting go of looking for approval in others. This isn’t to discount any of the latter. Nonstriving as letting go of looking outside of ourselves for what can be found within can be a deeply nourishing act of trust in our inner wisdom and intuition to hold the moment with wholeness and completeness as we are. Nonstriving as a practice of resting, relaxing and taking a breather.

As we moves towards closing this piece, a few reflections: Where does nonstriving come naturally for you, now or in the past? Imagine nonstriving as a natural state, the heart of being. And, where is nonstriving challenging ---where might there be a struggle, a fight with how things are --- and where could the attitude of nonstriving provide a little less suffering and more ease?

 

In any moment, we can invite the attitude of nonstriving and rest in the heart of being. In our ever busy world and as we become aware of where striving is causing suffering -- wanting the moment to be something it isn't -- we can remember and let ourselves be. Be what? Fully human and remember that we are not alone in this being.

May your being be light and your heart full.

Humbly yours,

Tehroma

To Learn From Animal Being

by John O'Donohue

"Nearer to the earth's heart, 

Deeper within its silence: 

Animals know this world In a way we never will.

We who are ever 

Distanced and distracted 

By the parade of bright 

Windows thought opens: 

Their seamless presence Is not fractured thus.

Stranded between time 

Gone and time emerging, 

We manage seldom 

To be where we are: 

Whereas they are always Looking out from The here and now.

May we learn to return 

And rest in the beauty 

Of animal being, 

Learn to lean low, 

Leave our locked minds, 

And with freed senses 

Feel the earth 

Breathing with us.

May we enter 

Into lightness of spirit, 

And slip frequently into 

The feel of the wild.

Let the clear silence 

Of our animal being 

Cleanse our hearts 

Of corrosive words.

May we learn to walk 

Upon the earth 

With all their confidence 

And clear-eyed stillness 

So that our minds

Might be baptized 

In the name of the wind 

And the light and the rain."

~ John O'Donohue From: To Bless the Space Between Us