The number three shows up in my life in several places at this time.
Three plus ten, how old my teenage daughter is this year.
Trinity knot in Celtic Wisdom.
Three repetitions in Thai Massage techniques learned in Saint Luis with Jill and then in Berkely with Chuck.
Three years of teaching Yoga (Yoga Alliance Certified). I started teaching at home one year prior to certification. I also began designing and building homes several years before I earned my degree in Architecture. My first born came into the word six months before I married his biological father. I notice a pattern in my life of practice, taking the leap, trying something out before coming home with a piece of paper supporting I can do something.
Three dogs.
Three of us at home full time now that our oldest is in college.
Embarking on my third formal year street legal and commited path in sharing yoga, I reflect on the learnings thus far:
Notice the person or people in the room. The human beings. Not the numbers.
Notice my experience in sharing the practice. Not the numbers.
Notice the experience of the students. Listen, observe, to the best of my abilities, in the moment. Not the numbers.
Notice the shared experience.
Notice the shared experience.
Why not the numbers?
In beginning, I was the only summer Yoga teacher. The room was relatively full. I am also the first Yoga teacher to offer this practice in Spanish for our local community. It has been a privilege to introduce Yoga to dozens of interested locals. Mostly women. A few men.
In the beginning, the room was relatively full. Summer turns to fall, another year goes by, the town grows, more Yoga teachers become, the Yoga community grows, some of the locals aren't sure if this practice is for them. The numbers fluctuate.
The constant presence is my own. And Yoga. With one student, with several or with a full room: I learn something. Every time.
In the beginning, the room was relatively full. Summer turns to fall, another year goes by, the town grows, more Yoga teachers become, the Yoga community grows, some of the locals aren't sure if this practice is for them. The numbers fluctuate.
The constant presence is my own. And Yoga. With one student, with several or with a full room: I learn something. Every time.
Three breaths. Shenpa. Buddhism. Non attachment. The ability to drop a story line and connect with the feeling in my own body, as well as, within. In turn, connection with our shared humanity.
My experience in leading a session and holding space for others to experience their practice is just that. My experience. While I listen and observe others, as well, as what I am experiencing, I can only speak for how I feel, what I notice, hear and observe from my own lense. It can be tempting to project an experience on another or a group, yet constantly checking in and recognizing: this is my experience, my perception and just that helps me see others as clearly as possible.
I remember the second class I taught in the studio and feeling like I was drowning. The hour felt eternal. I didn't know if I could do it. I breathed, I instructed. We all breathed and moved and stayed. I read something at the end of class. After the closing, I thought: that was terrible, I feel bad, maybe this class should be free or tell everyone: the next one is on the house. I chose to be quiet and not say, but feel and hold space for myself as students got up and put their props away. One woman walked up to me and said: "My hip hurt so badly before class, I could barely walk. I almost didn't come to class. Now, it doesn't hurt at all." That was my first noticing and reminder: my experience in the hour is not my student's experience. While we are sharing a practice, it is important to maintain boundaries, not only on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level, but also on the experiential level of who is experiencing what and remembering that one can only speak for one's own experience. By that same token, there were times I thought were wonderful, thought the class was fantastic and that the exprience in the room was shared by all - for sure, they will all come back to the next class, what a great session! Again, not entirely the case. Another reminder to hold space for all and remember that each inner experience is so personal and sometimes so deep that it may or may not be perceived by others. I share this because as a student, there have been times when I have been in class and noticed when a teacher spoke for others by stating what someone or the group was experiencing in that moment, then checked in and thought, that is not my experience.
I remember the second class I taught in the studio and feeling like I was drowning. The hour felt eternal. I didn't know if I could do it. I breathed, I instructed. We all breathed and moved and stayed. I read something at the end of class. After the closing, I thought: that was terrible, I feel bad, maybe this class should be free or tell everyone: the next one is on the house. I chose to be quiet and not say, but feel and hold space for myself as students got up and put their props away. One woman walked up to me and said: "My hip hurt so badly before class, I could barely walk. I almost didn't come to class. Now, it doesn't hurt at all." That was my first noticing and reminder: my experience in the hour is not my student's experience. While we are sharing a practice, it is important to maintain boundaries, not only on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level, but also on the experiential level of who is experiencing what and remembering that one can only speak for one's own experience. By that same token, there were times I thought were wonderful, thought the class was fantastic and that the exprience in the room was shared by all - for sure, they will all come back to the next class, what a great session! Again, not entirely the case. Another reminder to hold space for all and remember that each inner experience is so personal and sometimes so deep that it may or may not be perceived by others. I share this because as a student, there have been times when I have been in class and noticed when a teacher spoke for others by stating what someone or the group was experiencing in that moment, then checked in and thought, that is not my experience.
More lessons I have learned in these three years:
Set your ego aside. This is not about you. And it is about you. Everything you perceive is part of your experience. Learn from the perceptions. Learn from experience. Personal growth comes from a willingness to see the parts of myself that I might not want to see but need to in order to continually polish the service I provide. I work with these parts in increments and integrate the learnings the best I can on a momentary and daily basis.
For me, sharing Yoga is service. It isn't about the numbers. Or a following. The word following in Yoga has always bewildered me. My aim is to offer a pratice that directs the student towards themselves, their purpose, their joy, their inner world so they may inhabit their outer world and our shared world as fully and completely as possible. That they may work through any blockages that are holding them back, on any level: heart, body, mind and soul. That they may feel as complete as possible in the moment and know that wholeness comes from integrity. Integration and acceptance of all the parts that make up the whole. While we have the ability to change and constantly do, first it may be helpful to shine the light of awareness with loving kindness on our whole being - as much as we can see - and accept ourselves fully or as fully as possible. The greater the acceptance of myself and willingness to grow responsibly, the greater my acceptance is of others, as well as, the greater my ability to bear witness, provide support and guidance when needed.
One of the greatest lessons I continue to learn is just that: to continue to learn. Continue to cultivate the beauty of the beginner's mind. Continue to open my heart, body, mind and soul with as much patience, compassion and kindness as possible. The more open, patient, compassionate and kind I am with myself, the more open, patient, compassionate and kind I may be with others.
Of all the styles of Yoga out there and I love them all!...I study, I practice and wonder, which style resonates most deeply with my own unique path? As I look at the creation and unfolding of Healing Winds Holistic Center, the answer is clear and a combination of them all wrapped up in three words: Service. Karma Yoga.
My greatest teacher in the line of selfless service is my husband, Javier. It is because of the work we do together that I enjoy the privilege of teaching yoga as I do. It is his example of service as a human being that inspires me to serve as I do.
I am grateful to my students, teachers, family, friends and clients. It is an honor and privilege to share the teachings of Yoga. Every time a student shares how this practice has enhanced their life on some or many levels, I feel deeply rewarded and grateful to be able to teach yoga.
And while right now, it is not about the numbers because I have an income generating career in design-build that supports this phase in my learning and growing as a Yoga teacher, I realize that some day the numbers may become a factor that I will have to consider in how I structure classes or private lessons. I am grateful for this time to develop as a teacher so that when that day comes, my foundation as a Yoga teacher will be firmly rooted and established with the integrity and values I base my own practice and sharing of these sacred teachings upon.
Namaste, Tehroma
***
Trinity Knot
Tapestries, as well as, the Celtic knot
Have threads or lines
Weaving up, over and under.
The weaving under represents descending into darkness
Or going through a darker
Challenging time
Contraction.
The up and over represents a lighter time
A time of ease
Expansion.
In times of darkness or shadows
Through our own unique experience
We develop insights, understanding
Compassion and empathy.
Through darkness, through light and in betweens
We connect with ourselves and others
Inside our shared humanity.
During the darker times, we collect wisdom that we later bring to the surface
Applying the insights, understanding, compassion, empathy and wisdom to our lives
In the lighter, brighter and maybe even ordinary times.
We can apply the weaving through darkness and light, shadows and in betweens
To our own unique experience of the heart
Knowing that wherever the weave is, in this moment, on this day
It is simply, yet profoundly, part of a much larger tapestry
A colorful, woven tapestry embracing every unique and beautiful life.
Tehroma
My greatest teacher in the line of selfless service is my husband, Javier. It is because of the work we do together that I enjoy the privilege of teaching yoga as I do. It is his example of service as a human being that inspires me to serve as I do.
I am grateful to my students, teachers, family, friends and clients. It is an honor and privilege to share the teachings of Yoga. Every time a student shares how this practice has enhanced their life on some or many levels, I feel deeply rewarded and grateful to be able to teach yoga.
And while right now, it is not about the numbers because I have an income generating career in design-build that supports this phase in my learning and growing as a Yoga teacher, I realize that some day the numbers may become a factor that I will have to consider in how I structure classes or private lessons. I am grateful for this time to develop as a teacher so that when that day comes, my foundation as a Yoga teacher will be firmly rooted and established with the integrity and values I base my own practice and sharing of these sacred teachings upon.
Namaste, Tehroma
***
Trinity Knot
Tapestries, as well as, the Celtic knot
Have threads or lines
Weaving up, over and under.
The weaving under represents descending into darkness
Or going through a darker
Challenging time
Contraction.
The up and over represents a lighter time
A time of ease
Expansion.
In times of darkness or shadows
Through our own unique experience
We develop insights, understanding
Compassion and empathy.
Through darkness, through light and in betweens
We connect with ourselves and others
Inside our shared humanity.
During the darker times, we collect wisdom that we later bring to the surface
Applying the insights, understanding, compassion, empathy and wisdom to our lives
In the lighter, brighter and maybe even ordinary times.
We can apply the weaving through darkness and light, shadows and in betweens
To our own unique experience of the heart
Knowing that wherever the weave is, in this moment, on this day
It is simply, yet profoundly, part of a much larger tapestry
A colorful, woven tapestry embracing every unique and beautiful life.
Tehroma
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