A Return To Privacy

During the current Coronavirus Pandememic, while the world is in various degrees of quarentine, I wonder how public our lives need to be. I am learning and living into an answer that feels true to me personally: less than I believed before.

Under normal circumstances, how much do I need to publish on social media, websites, emails, etc. in order to live a creative, productive, happy, healthy and connected life that is beneficial to the health and wellbeing of myself and others, the services publicly offered and a life that is planetarily and economically sustainable.

How many times do I need to share what I do for a living and how many ways do I need to say the same thing? 

Had I reached a time in my life when saying the same thing over and over again became normal? 

What would it look like to quarentine my energy, sensitivity and sanity. This sounds restorative. 

As I become quieter, I feel a sense of freedom in not having to continuously share what I am and am not doing.  Who cares what I am doing, offering, creating, producing and if I am happy? Who cares how I use and regenerate this lifeforce energy, how I care for interior sensitivity and maintain mental and emotional sanity?

I care. I am the one person who I spend twenty four hours of every day in company with. I have been here breathing my whole life and in this body from day one and will until the final day of my life in this form on earth. When I connect with the entirety of my being and feel that deep sense of care, I feel connected to all living beings on the planet. 

Family and friends care. As I care for them, their creativity, productivity, happiness and overall well-being. The caring is mutual. The energy goes both ways.

Students and clients care. As I care for them, their health and overall well-being. Again, the energy goes both ways.

There is also the wisdom of knowing that people I may not know personally also care just as I care for others who I may not know personally. 

The planet cares. I walk on this earth every day. I care about my foot print, how much space I take up, sustainability, presence and making the most of every day of life and opportunity to create, be productive, of service, happy and simply be a person whos existence contributes to a sense of calm and peace on earth. Especially in the midst of a pandemic.

This morning I enjoyed a hot cup of coffee on a cool back porch covered with a soft gray blanket while listening to birds and appreciating the beauty of all the succulents in bloom. Plus a vine with periwinkle flowers that I have been waiting sometimes impatiently to bloom.

Later, I walked to meeting a place as friends arrived and we hiked in the nearby mountains. I am grateful for these legs to carry me, a healthy heart that beats and lungs that breathe. Eyes to see and appreciate the sea, desert plants and notice how mountains that look tall from below become shorter and underfoot as we reach different hill tops.

I often wonder how much I need to share publicly in order to sustain a living offering the various services I carry in my invisible tool box. In this time of quarentine, I am grateful for a new degree of quiet and a certain return to privacy. Transitions are not always as graceful as I would like for them to be, whether I have handled them privately or publicly. Clumsiness and grace may be two sides of the same coin. 

While I share these thoughts on an invitation and return to privacy, I want to share how much I enjoy sharing pictures of our pets, family, home, yoga, surroundings, art, writing, things that inspire and uplift my spirit. By that same token, and in equal measure, I appreciate the sharings of others that inspire and motivate, communicate and remind me of our inherent connection, no matter where we are on the globe.

These wonderings are personal,  having only to do with the work that I specifically do. I have been in business my entire adult life and worn many hats. Sharing, putting the word out there and smart marketing is part of business promotion. Of the latter I am clear. I am looking at my own approach in the interest of experiencing an alignment of creativity and offerings of service without feeling overly put out there by my own actions to inform or remind people of what I can do.

There are many ways to contribute to a sense of calm during these challenging times. I do not underestimate this event. I feel we are shifting into a new normal. At the very least, the opportunity is here. Shifting and changing can be uncomfortable and scary. Yet, the more I can be right where I am, feel my feet on the ground and sound of my breath, the more at ease I feel. In recent days, I have felt the sadness and fear in the world. That sadness and fear isn't new. At this time, it seems front page. 

Also on the front page of our time on this earth, I see and experience many blessings and ways to return to a feeling of newfound safety, calm, peace and ease. A call home and sense of feeling at home in my own being. An opportunity to do less. Be more still. A sense of deep connection. And the literal act of feeling at home in this dwelling that surrounds me, puts a roof over my head and floor under my feet.

In this time of reflection, there are many inner questions. One of the questions I hear is, how well and how much can I be with myself and the entirety of my ever changing experience? How can I live day to day with creativity, flexibility, compassion and a well rounded existence under unusual circumstances? The answer changes day by day, hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. The range of emotions is vast and deep.

There is the reminder that as I am able to feel sadness, I am also capable of deep joy. And vice versa. Sadness and joy are two sides of the same coin. As I deepen my capacity to feel sadness, I expand my ability to feel joy. As I practice breathing the moments of anxiety instead of numbing or distracting, I practice the art of transmuting that energy and use it as fuel for creativity. This energy goes into cooking, cleaning, creating art, gardening, yoga, coaxing my husband to join me for yoga, walking with him, sharing openended time with our kids. When I can breathe with the rawness of a human emotion, I am deepening my capacity to feel human and connect with that humanness in those around me. Whenever I feel a sense of release and relief, I am creating space for creativity, productivity, happiness, sanity and connection with myself as well as others.

I can only speak for and from my own experience. Life is full of ironies, such as sharing publicly my thoughts on a return to privacy. A newfound sense of privacy. One thing,  I do know for sure. Ollie and the rest of our pets are thrilled to have us home. I love this time with them, too.